What am I talking about? Lunchboxes. Sort of…
You see, according to Reddit, and verified by other sources, a girl was sent home from school for being a violent little bitch. What did she do? Little twerp had the audacity to bring her Wonder Woman lunchbox to school. She thought about bringing her Charles Manson lunchbox to school, but opted for Wonder Woman instead.
The school then sent the girl packing and sent a letter to the parents informing them that they do not condone violence of any kind at the school, including the uncapped violence of Superheroes. Wonder Woman is especially heinous because she fights for love, peace, and equality. What a horrible role model for a young girl!
This really chaps my hide because just this morning I read a few other stories that made me sad for womenfolk everywhere. There’s the story of the prep-school rape, where the accused claims he never even had sex with the accuser. There’s the backlash to Dr. Dre’s new movie, where several of his exes say he beat them bloody, and yet he dares cry victim over policy brutality to black men (*cough*, hypocite!, ahem…). And then there’s the Twitter feed where female musicians discuss the unnecessary belittling and overt sexism they have to endure just to play a song on a damn stage.
All these stories make me think we need Wonder Woman more than ever. The prep-school girl needs to feel empowered enough to just go kick that scrawny little shit’s ass rather than cry about it in court. Dee Barnes stood up for herself against Dre, but the other women should call him out, too – call him out until the world stops kissing his ass. And the women who are treated like crap in the music biz need to learn where the squirrel’s nuts are and then attack. Yes, I am more violent than Wonder Woman.
But guess what? It’s a violent fucking world out there, in case you didn’t know it. And humanity is not about to change its spots any time soon. So, the best thing you can do is get yourself a Superhero, or better yet, become one for yourself. Becoming a Superhero for yourself starts with a yummy sandwich inside a Wonder Woman lunchbox when you are still wearing Velcro shoes.