I've been really frustrating myself. I have 2 events already booked and I want to do well in them. But, here's the thing - I drink too much. I'm not going to go all AA on you and say shit like, "I am Cubicle Monster, and I am an alcoholic." Not only do I not believe that's true, but also it makes for a truly dull post. I am also not going to say that I put my trust in a higher power in order to see myself through this struggle. That's weak sauce, if you ask me. Nope, I created the devil and I'm going to beat that son of a bitch.
A drink or two here and there is epicurean and medicinal. 6-8 drinks here and there is just a ticket to failure. I noticed my skin has started to look crappy, as though I don't need makeup in order to be an extra in a zombie movie. And although my pants still fit, there has grown a softness around my belly that has makes me violently and volcanically angry. But the worst part is that drinking has begun to interfere with my training. I can't go on a long run on Sunday when my head is pounding. And I can't go to my Thursday morning spin class when I'm nauseous. The look and feel of drinking too much is bumming me out, man.
I know what you're thinking: then just stop drinking, you fool! Yes, you are right - stopping makes sense. And I have excuses galore why I shouldn't stop: my best friends are brewers; I'm Italian and Italians need wine to live; post-race festivities always have free beer (why pay to run otherwise?); the other kids are doing it; I like the sauce, it is yummy in my tummy. It all boils down to what you want most, though, right? I mean, the ladies in my office can't go a day without eating cakes or donuts, and then they complain about being overweight. I don't have that problem. My problem is that I get drunk once or twice a fortnight and then I complain that my tri-athletic abilities are sub-par. In its most simple formulation, big-butt office girls prefer sugar to thinness, and I prefer Happy Hour to being a better athlete.
I hate to admit that about myself because it sounds so asinine. Plus, then I have to remind myself of that current state-of-being every time I whine and feel sorry for myself. I am sure that I could get my 5k time back down below 27 minutes (it's been an embarrassing 33 lately) if I just stopped going to the pub every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday (hey, at least I'm saintly Monday through Wednesday!). The thing is, triathlons are better for you than whiskey, so I need to adjust my mind to want triathlons more. I need to start preferring the long run over the Sunday morning mimosa. I'm not there yet, but I will be.