Image: breakingmuscle.com
I train these fat fucks everyday for a living. I’m developing my own supplement line, though, so the crap paycheck will get better soon. Yesterday, I stole a Mega Bar from GNC so I could compare it to my own formula. Sure, I could’ve paid for the thing, but I deserve it, ya know? I mean, I really put in my time with these people who don’t learn a damn thing. I get the oldies, the uglies, and the fatties. Where does Scarlett Johansson work out? I’d love to train her, to get my hands on someone like that.
Yesterday I increased my deadlift by 15 pounds. That’s a shit ton, man. I’m about to hulk out – might have to model rather than bake protein bars like Mr. Martha Fucking Stewart. But, I’m really on to something. See, these Crossfit guys are all Paleo and shit, so there aren’t a lot of bars they can actually eat. And those dudes drop some serious cash in the name of health. There are Paleo bars on the market, but my shit has something in it that’s very special. It’s probably not legal, but I’m not exactly going to put it on the label, ya know?
So, it’s just a matter of time before I’m out of this hungry hungry hippo gym. My fucking star is about to rise. Man, I haven’t felt this high since my graduation from MIT.
Yesterday I increased my deadlift by 15 pounds. That’s a shit ton, man. I’m about to hulk out – might have to model rather than bake protein bars like Mr. Martha Fucking Stewart. But, I’m really on to something. See, these Crossfit guys are all Paleo and shit, so there aren’t a lot of bars they can actually eat. And those dudes drop some serious cash in the name of health. There are Paleo bars on the market, but my shit has something in it that’s very special. It’s probably not legal, but I’m not exactly going to put it on the label, ya know?
So, it’s just a matter of time before I’m out of this hungry hungry hippo gym. My fucking star is about to rise. Man, I haven’t felt this high since my graduation from MIT.