Look, I know it's easy to make excuses, and I know that my ass is already registered to do 2 triathlons, 1 duathlon, and 2 road races this spring. Nothing will solidify a commitment like the usage of an over-loved credit card. I'm scared, too, Mr. Internet Cat who is making that face at me. But here's the thing - I'm still going to do it! Seeing as how I'm already registered and my new tri kit still has it's tags on, I know I have to go Full Crazy Ass WildeBeest Mode in my training in order to make it happen. I have to go Full Retard in the gym in order to get shit done in short order.
Here's my plan: in the AM, I will wake up stupid early and get my weights and cycling done. The weights will consist of the Big 5 compound moves done slowly, with an emphasis on form and safety. I will not thrust up as much weight as possible, then slam it to the floor and yell "O'Doyle Rules!" like I usually do. In the PM, I shall alternate hooves-stomping (aka, running), and walrus-bobbing (aka, swimming). Weekends will be for the long run/long ride and 1-man pizza-eating and beer-drinking contest. In this way, I shall become a triathlon goddess in a month and a half (cuz that's all the time I have).
Behold! I dare thee to lay witness to my athletic feats! Watch, as I go from sub-par athlete to only-slightly-sub-par athlete in record time! YES! Let's ride that enthusiasm!! ...I mean, I may die. But, it's worth a try.