I am going on my first cruise ever in a few weeks! It can't come soon enough after the crap I've been dealing with at work. I can't wait to drink too much by the pool, ignore the workout clothes I pack, and start inane conversations with strangers at the communal dinner table. Hmmmm, how should I begin those conversations? Maybe I could lead with, "I thought I had ebola once, but it turned out just to be bulimia." Granted, many people would not find that funny, but isn't that the point? I mean, the absolute worst part about being around strangers is the crappy small talk you have to endure. I really don't care if your grand-daughter is doing well in college, or your sister just had a baby, or your dog can bark the alphabet. I have to sit through such mind-numbing banter every day at work, let me just be drunk and stupid on vacation!
That's just how I imagine it, anyway. In reality, people may not even want to talk to me! People seem to gravitate toward me, though. They always say that I look really sweet and approachable until I actually speak. HA! What a special power I have - the ability to attract and repel at will! Maybe I'll practice honing those skills inter-changeably on this cruise. It's good to have a sense of purpose.
That's just how I imagine it, anyway. In reality, people may not even want to talk to me! People seem to gravitate toward me, though. They always say that I look really sweet and approachable until I actually speak. HA! What a special power I have - the ability to attract and repel at will! Maybe I'll practice honing those skills inter-changeably on this cruise. It's good to have a sense of purpose.