For a while there, I was up at 4am Monday through Friday doing my routine. There was swimming, spinning, running, TRX class, and weight-lifting. After 6 months of this, I still felt as though I saw no progress. I secretly hoped that I would get sick so that I would have an excuse to stop for awhile – to just rest for a bit. You see, I couldn’t just stop and rest because then I would feel like a pansy. So I just hoped something not too bad would happen. My other wishes haven’t come true, so why should that one?
And in fact, it didn’t come true. Rather, I paid an even greater price for Vanity – I got an eye infection. I wasn’t sick, so I didn’t have the excuse to stay in bed. And the eye infection was non-transmittable (it was really just a bad allergic reaction), so I couldn’t hide from the world. Me and my Cyclops self just had to deal with it. Which is exactly what I didn’t do.
I called in sick to work one day, then I wore sunglasses in my office until it healed. And though I easily could have still gone to the gym with my marshmallow eye, I chose not to because I didn’t want people to look at it. So there you have it. My vanity kept me from the gym, not my actual state of health.
Now, having taken off two unjustifiable weeks, I am scared to go back and discover how much regression has set in. I know what you’re thinking: “it has only been two weeks, I’m sure you can get it back right quick – whatever ‘it’ is. Besides, didn’t you say you hadn’t been making any progress anyway? So who cares?” And then I’d have to say, “Progress or no, I still worked really hard, so stop judging me!” But then we would hug because we don’t like to fight.
So, what I’m learning is that the mental weight is the most difficult one to lift. I usually read a lot of exercise blogs, but I can’t read them right now because I’m seething with jealousy over how great those bastards look. How can I be dragging my feet to get back in the gym, yet yearn for it at the same time? I don’t fear pain and hard work – in fact those are motivators. Maybe I truly did just need a mental and physical rest. As Tony Horton says, “Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was your body.” HA! I love that guy. Truly. I wish I could have a burger and a beer with him. I’d probably try to kiss him, though, and that would make things awkward. Regardless, the man speaks wisdom about being patient with the process. And if the body is Rome, then the mind is an aquafer, without which Rome couldn’t thrive.